You know how when you’re scrolling through social media or the news and theres all these bits of advice about how to get rid of toxic people, how to handle them, how to discard toxicity in your life, how to eat less toxic food, clean with less toxic cleaning supplies and on and on and on…
Ok, so you know those things? But what if the toxicity is yourself? How you treat yourself?
A few weeks ago I read something that Elizabeth Gilbert wrote about how she can no longer watch a woman take herself down. Put herself down. Be unkind to herself. Oooooh baby, this one sat with me. Stuck on me. Nestled into my psyche and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Forced me to reflect, to listen between the sentences I give and receive.
Last summer I hit a low point after feeling buried under all that I’m responsible for, all that I care about. I needed to let something go, but where would I begin? My mind felt angry, my attitude was aggressive and I felt out of control. I brought myself to a yoga class because I honestly didn’t know what else to do.
First class, sold.
Second class, sold again.
I kept going. And going. And going and going and going until it became such a repeat in my life that it was a priority. Taking deep breaths to calm down my nervous system, to fill my bucket with something that is just for me, to tap out of the house for a bit like Dads do so easily. The compound effect was positive. Easing. Helping. Rising in me.
So I kept going. And going more. And then it occurred to me that there isn’t an ounce of guilt I carry for all the time I’ve put into supporting my mental health, my brain, my heart. It’s so good for me that my husband even went to the yoga studio to buy me schwag (without me knowing) and told a few teachers that this yoga studio has been a blessing for our entire family. GASP!
Six months ago I did something nice for myself by going to yoga because I had to, because I was desperate for a lift. That good deed for myself has turned into something we all love now.
The Locket Sisters
P.S. Ready to see the lockets now? Go on.