The Theory of Never

Have we ever told you about our Theory of Never? It’s proven to be true every. time. Honestly, it never fails. I’d almost bump it from theory to evidence-based research if I had those powers.

Here it is: Everything you say you’d never do, never be, never engage in, comes back to be part of your life. For example, remember when you were 22 with a hot little body and would look at people older than you an scoff thinking, “I’d NEVER let my body get to that point!” and then you got older and your body got to that point?

Blonde woman in red tank top wearing a brass locket with a photograph inside of her and her sister.

Or, “I’d NEVER vote for a Republican/Democrat/Libertarian/Independent!” and then you find yourself suddenly empathizing with your enemy?

When I was in 3rd grade I had a classmate named Tony who used to leave weird marks all over his skin with pencil erasers. It’s so odd, and in hindsight the poor little guy probably really needed some help, but I remember saying “Tonys are weird! I’d never love a Tony!” My husband’s name is Tony.

I also said “I’d never only have two kids! Small families are so weird!” I have two kids and don’t plan to have more.

I used to think bicyclists were such a pain in the ass and “I’d never be one of those freaks who take up the road and bike everywhere” and now I love a good bike commute.

You guys, I could go on and on with examples. I have so many. It’s gotten to the point where when I catch myself saying I’d never do something, I stop, re-evaluate, and instead say “I’m pleased with this-other-way-of-doing-things.”

If I really prefer to avoid something, I have to focus on what I do want, rather than what I don’t. For example, a couple years ago our other sister’s friend asked me if I’d ever move back to our hometown, and instead of saying never I said, “Right now we love where we love and plan to stay.”

This softens me, humbles me. Makes me treat other views as less “other” and more “good for them, it’s not for me.” Helps me empathize, understand, resist judgment.

It’s the Law of Attraction learned the hard way. So, never say never.

Warmly,

Amy + Allyssa

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